L: Alright. So, probably gonna regret sending this as soon as I send it. I've been arguing with myself over saying it or not at all for the past few hours.
Something in me doesn't trust that you'll stick around. Not that you don't want to. I believe that you do. I believe you want to do whatever you can to potentially help me and be my friend.
But I just feel like it's too much. Like, if i I don't start feeling better soon--and I have no idea when I will, it could be tomorrow, but it could be next year--that we won't be able to handle it.
Yes, I have this awful tendency to push people away. And that's not what I'm trying to do right now. I don't want you to go anywhere.
But I don't feel any better than I did last night. I feel broken. My heart hurts.
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